Recently, my son, who just turned 9, made a decision that marked a significant transition on his unique unschooling journey. He turned to me one day and said “I’m ready to cut my hair” and he bravely chose to cut his long hair for the very first time (yes, I was balling).
For us, this wasn’t just a haircut – it was a powerful rite of passage, a celebration of his growing sense of self, and an acknowledgment of his increasing independence.
Empowering kids to make decisions
As a conscious and unschooling parent, I believe in empowering our young people to make decisions that reflect their authentic selves. Moving towards our authenticity is a big part of deschooling. This decision to cut his hair was a choice Sai made from a place of self-awareness, and it was our privilege to honor this milestone in a meaningful way.
Of course we asked him how he wanted to celebrate (consent) and I made some suggestions, but the focus wasn’t so much on what he was achieving, but who he is and who he is becoming. The focus was on his authenticity and personhood.
The Power of Rites of Passage in Unschooling
For my family rites of passage hold a special place in our unschooling journey. They offer a tangible way to celebrate and acknowledge our young people’s growth, transitions, and personal achievements.
Just as we celebrate and acknowledge the first steps and first words, these rituals create lasting memories and reinforce our commitment to supporting our kid’s unique paths.
Unschooling dosent mean un-celebrating or un-acknowledging. In fact, most people have the need for belonging, acceptance and care, so we can’t abandon these needs but rather find ways to honor them that align with our deschooling values.
Respecting and valueing kids’ individuality
By embracing rites of passage, we show our kids that we respect and value their individuality. We create a space for open communication, fostering deeper connections and trust in our relationship with them.
These rituals remind us that unschooling isn’t just about learning – it’s about wholeheartedly experiencing LIFE and life’s milestones together. It’s about these magic moments.