Anyone that knows Sai knows that he is a shaker and a mover and has some pretty awesome gross motor skills.
When my family moved to a surf town I was so excited cause I just knew that he would be into and thrive in surfing.
People would comment all the time that he even “looked like a surfer” – whatever that means.
The proud mama
From the very first class and wave he took he rocked it, and I just sat there, super proud of him.
I was already imagining the tournaments and competitions that he could potentially go to and the fulfillment he (and secretly WE) would feel.
I went so far as to think about all the traveling we could do to different surf towns in all corners of the world, and I felt a sense of relief that he would be “ok”.
Dreams crushed?
But all those dreams came tumbling down when two weeks into classes someone accidentally hit Sai in the water with their board.
Sai dashed out of the water and said that he was done with surf and never wanted to return.
Of course, initially I held space for his fear and comforted him, giving him space for his emotions. But inside my own fears were brewing. Would he ever return? What if he was missing out on the thing that would change his life forever?!
And so days later I began to nudge… “Hey Sai, want to give it another go?”
His response was a clear “No!”.
From fear to trust
Then more fear kicked in, and more desire to want to “convince him”. I remember having racing thoughts about needing to support him to challenge his fears and push through the obstacles.
”What if he never learns how to overcome difficult moments? What if he just gives up in life?”
And I wobbled, until I was reminded by my accountability partner (Becka) to step aside and continue my practice of consent, trust and advocating for Sai’s choice and freedom.
So, I leaned into trust and into focusing on my relationship with him. I didn’t want to be THAT other version of myself that acted more from my fear and needs than listening to and trusting my kid.
Trust the process
Fast forward, 3 years later (the other day) Sai turned to me and said out of the blue: “I think I want to try surf again”.
Of course I jumped for joy, and then turned to him and asked: “Why?”.
“Cause it looks fun and I think I’m ready!”
Alllllright… Here we go!
Week 2 of classes and he’s having a ball.
Reminder to self: Wait, wait and wait some more! Everyone’s timing is different.
And… to each their own!